Since even before Z was born, I have been looking forward to the day when my little boy and I would walk sweetly, hand-in-hand. He's been walking for about two months now...and I'm still waiting for that day. :)
It seems like when I gently take his hand to lead him where I want him to go, his natural toddler instinct is to pull away. Or maybe he's just too thrilled with the fun (and forbidden) things around him to follow my lead. I would love to gently take his hand and walk down the hallway to the living room peacefully.
But that is not to be. When I take his hand, he tries to rip it from my grasp. When I hold his hand firm, he jerks and squirms and throws himself down on the floor, flailing and whining. If he manages to get free, he runs in the opposite direction of where I was attempting to lead him.
And when he struggles against my leadership, he often gets hurt. Sometimes he falls down and scrapes his knee on the ground. Or sometimes he is so intent on getting away that he runs into something and bangs his head in the process.
It hurts me to see my little son hurt. And to see him struggle against me. All I want is to walk sweetly, hand in hand, toward the toy room. I want good things for him, and joy and fun. But instead of submitting to my will, and my desires for him, he chooses his own way. And so he experiences pain. And he does not get to experience the closeness of walking peacefully with his Mommy down the hallway.
How often are we each like a toddler, wrenching wildly away from our Father's gentle, loving grasp?
And what are the consequences of our willfulness?