Pretending

Zachary will be three and a half in just a couple of weeks. It is high time for my stubborn sweetheart to be potty trained. Especially since I will have both a newborn & toddler in diapers just two months from now, and I'd rather not also have a preschooler in diapers along with the two of them.

As we were changing his diaper, I began to discuss the process of potty training with him. We've tried a couple of times, but each time it has gone miserably and we (okay, I) have given up and vowed to try again at a later date. He is excited about the prospect of picking out treats to enjoy when success does happen, but the rest of the process does not sound very exciting to him. :)

As I was finishing up changing him, I heard him muttering under his breath, "I am not a big boy. I just pretend to be a big boy. I'm really a little boy."

And I totally understood. Because I'm not really a big girl either. I'm just a little girl, intimidated by the thought of potty training, scared to death by the idea that in less than nine or ten weeks, I'll be responsible for three babies' welfare. But I have to pretend that I'm a big girl and bravely go along with this idea that I'm an adult now. Since I suppose I am. :)

And as I think about this 'pretending' and the feeling that I'm not ready for this, I'm not enough for the challenges that God has placed before me, the answer to Zachary's problem and my own come to me quietly. "My strength is made perfect in weakness. I will never leave you nor forsake you. When you are weak, then I am strong." (borrowed from 2 Cor. 12)

And that's why I can be the mommy to three darlings who are three and under (without losing my sanity). Because I'm not doing it on my own. When I'm 'done', 'at the end of my rope', 'out of patience', there is still more. There's God, and His immeasurable grace and love for me. And His all-powerful strength to pick me up and love my babies through tired, weak me.

And that's how we're going to do this potty training thing. This time we're not going it on our own. We're going to pray. A lot. We're going to keep our focus on what God wants for us, even in the midst of accidents and frustrations. And we're not going to give up...

At least for a day or two... :)