I'm on the Cusp of something Big...

God is in the process of teaching me something big about parenting. And life. Since parenting is probably the biggest, most time-and-energy-consuming part of my life right now, and possibly the most confusing part of my life as well, He's using parenting to teach me.

I'm sure you've heard the phrase "Religion isn't about rules, it's about Relationship." This was one of the points driven home by the book The Shack, which I just finished reading. (More on that later, maybe even a full review, if anyone's interested.)

Anyhoo, these last few weeks, I've been struggling with my 'parenting/discipline philosophy'. I feel like I have to have it ALL figured out before I begin. (Well, I know I technically BEGUN almost 14 months ago...but, you know, a newborn doesn't disobey you, so they don't need to be disciplined...) Before I had Zachary, I read Shepherding a Child's Heart, loved it, and thought, 'okay, there you go, that's my philosophy'. I re-read it when Z was old enough to cause trouble & begin to need discipline. I think it's a good book, but lately, I just have felt like what I understood from it didn't form a complete philosophy. And I think this age is a hard one for discipline, because Z isn't verbal yet, so it's unclear how much he truly understands. But I don't want to ignore his disobedience either.

Now I am reading another book, Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours. I am enjoying the different points- so many creative ideas for discipline! Also, the greatest point that I am gleaning from this book is this: Parenting, like religion, is not just about RULES. As a whole, parenting is about RELATIONSHIP. If I don't have a close relationship with my son, no rules or discipline measures are going to make a difference in his life. I have so much more to learn, and when I get it all figured out, of course I'll post about it here. Don't hold your breath while you wait for that installment, though... :)

Also, we had the greatest talk about this subject with our youth pastor & wife at church this week...they have 3 kids between the ages of 9 and 14. Our youth pastor pointed out that God gives this important job of parenting to those of us with NO experience...possibly because He wants us to lean solely on Him and cry out to Him in our struggles! So my first goal in parenting this week is to strive to bring God into each and every parenting decision- "Lord, what should I do now? Does he need a little swat, or just a reprimand and a distraction?" And I've also been attempting to spend more time hugging & just hanging out with my little man, to build our relationship stronger and make my discipline more effective. And I'm still reading my book...still learning!!!

So Far Today I Have:

Gotten myself & baby ready for work.

Fed my son breakfast.

Backed the car crookedly in the driveway, sticking it deep into the five-foot snowbank on the side of the driveway.

Frustrated my husband ever-so-slightly by insisting that the car slid and the stickage was not entirely my fault.

Apologized to said husband.

Worked at camp for an hour or so.

Fed my son a snack.

Cleaned yogurt from my son's face, hair, hands, and sleeves.

Cleaned a booger off of my son's coat hood.

Fallen flat on my bahootie outside the office door.

So. I hope everyone else is having a more fun, glamorous day than I am.

I'm off to drink some hot coffee and have some much-needed prayer time. :)

My Faves

1. Favorite Ice Cream: chocolate with the peanut butter swirls...mmm...
2. Favorite Vacation: my honeymoon at Disney World
3. How Many Siblings Do You Have? Just one 'real' sibling- my sister is 22. But I have 2 great Brother-in-laws who are like brothers & their wives are like sisters to me, too.
4. Type of Toothpaste You Use: Colgate Total
5. Favorite Cookie: Peanut butter cookies!
6. Favorite Candy Bar: Probably Butterfinger...I don't eat a lot of candy bars
7. Celebrity you met or came close to meeting? I met Kevin Sharp- he's a country singer- when I was working at Toys R Us in high school, he came through my line.
8. What Do You Like Most About Facebook? reconnecting with old friends & sending quick messages to people I wouldn't necessary call.
9. What Do You Like Least About Facebook? Hmmm...all the random notices that someone I don't know has commented on one of my friends pictures or notes, maybe?
10. Favorite Movie(s): This one is always hard for me to think of...maybe Ocean's 11? Or While You Were Sleeping?
11. Favorite Color: PINK!!!
12. If You Could Change One Thing in the World, What Would it Be? @bor+ion would not exist.
13. If You Could Select Your Hair, What Color Would It Be, Style, etc.?
14. Coffee, Tea or Milk? Coffee AND milk. Not together. But both separately.
15. Favorite Salad Dressing: ranch...or creamy Italian
16. Leno or Letterman? neither- they come on too late for me! :)
17. Do You Prefer the Weather Hot or Cold? HOT!!! Can't wait for summer!!!
18. Choose One: Horseback Riding, Surfing or Skiing? um...I'm probably only coordinated enough to do horseback riding.
19. Most Embarrassing Moment? Wow, yeah, right, like I'm going to share THAT on my blog. AN embarassing moment of mine was when I walked out of Perkins & almost got in the backseat of a car where 2 people were making out- and actually touched the door handle before I realized it was the wrong car- and my friends were 3 cars down laughing hysterically at me!
20. Favorite High School Moment: Oh, but it was so long ago...I loved Young Life, so those meetings were probably some of my favorite memories from high school...all the meetings & activities...
21. If You Had to Pick One Resource Book, Which Would it Be? Dictionary, Encyclopedia, Theasaurus? : Thesaurus for sure.
22. If You Could Have Lived in any time era, which would it be? Probably right now. Don't think I'd be super-happy without indoor plumbing. :)
23. Favorite Sport? not into sports...probably enjoy watching gymnastics or ice skating more than anything else. :)
24. Favorite Month of the Year: August...we finish camp & get time off to relax & it's still summer so it's nice out & we can take time to enjoy it.
25. Pick one: Rainy Day, Foggy Day, Snowy Day? Rainy days - I love that rain is relaxing

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jog

We're home. Actually, we've been home for about, oh, a week now. And just today I feel like I'm getting caught up on life at home again! :) I guess this is the first 'normal' day we've had, though. :)

Hubby's mom was able to come out last Sunday, and we were all able to spend Monday with her- relaxing, trip to town, going over three pages of notes on how to take care of Z...

Then Tuesday morning, we got all packed up & all of us went to Bob Evans for breakfast. Z enjoyed his meal & coloring with the crayons. The rest of us enjoyed our BoBurritos, too- which, in retrospect, are probably pronounced Bob-burritos, and not BO-burritos...don't you think? ALSO. Bob Evans has this new caramel mocha...which is wonderfully delicious AND - there are free refills! I was rather excited, and drank either two or three of them, I can't remember right now.

When we left Bob's, Hubby & I got into our car....and Grandma and Z got into HER car...and headed in the opposite direction!!! Waaaaahhhh... I did cry a little bit, I'm not going to lie. Actually I was totally keyed up nervous about it, and between that & the excessive mochas, we ended up having to stop about 15 minutes down the road. :( I felt fine by the time we got to Buffalo, though, and we spent the afternoon shopping for couches at some fine furniture stores. We learned a lot about what we wanted, but we weren't sold on anything. So then we headed to Niagara Falls in Ontario, CA.

We spent the evening relaxing in our hotel, enjoying this view of the falls:

Isn't God's creation breathtaking???

Then we took a short (COLD) walk over to Zappi's pizza to get some dinner. We ate our delicious pizza while we watched American Idol.

The next morning, I SLEPT IN until about 8:30. Aaaahhhh. It was wonderful. That afternoon, we headed down to the 'tourist-y' Clifton Hill district of Niagara Falls and took in some sights, including Ripley's Believe it or Not (which we really enjoyed), a dorky wax museum (it was funny to try to figure out which celebrity they were supposed to be...), Galaxy Glow Golf (fun- we were the only ones there so we just acted stupid & goofed off & it was really fun), and the SkyWheel. Here's the best picture we managed to snap- sorry it's so dark!

We relaxed with American Idol again that evening, and slept in again the next morning...and then we got ready to come home. And, I'll tell you, it was wonderful. I loved just being with Hubby, and not having to warm up fish sticks for anyone or hunt for blocks under the couch or think about whether I had time to do something before it was anyone's snack time...but oh, I missed that boy!!! We used the rest of Thursday to finish our couch shopping in Buffalo on the way home, and we ended up finding some gorgeous chocolate brown couches on sale at La-Z-Boy...and...they'll be delivered in 5-7 weeks. So, anticlimactically, after all our shopping, we're still sitting on our decrepit old couches. After we finished our wheeling & dealing, we

C-R-A-W-L-E-D home to see our baby!!! Honestly, we could NOT drive fast enough!!! :) Here is a picture of me & baby being reunited!!!

And, finally, I leave you with a picture of our favorite souvenir from the trip. This also happens to be one of the most unique souvenirs I've seen...

This is a wax mold of Hubby's and my hands. Wish I could've gotten pictures of the proces...we held hands & dipped them first in COLD ice water- on a 0-degree day- fun! :) Then we put lotion on & dipped our hands in HOT paraffin wax. Then we dipped them in colored wax- we picked black- and then we had to remove our hands VERY carefully from the molded wax. And we had our names & the year painted on them & this is what we came home with:

Guess What?

This blog is officially fabulous!

I got this fabulous blogging award from Denise at Meandering Mommy Land!!!

So, to play along, here are ten blogs that I personally find fabulous (other than Denise's, of course):

1. Antique Mommy- Tina's a great writer and always reminds me to appreciate the times I have with my son.

2. Together for Good- Erin's a real-life friend from college, whose stories about her two boys are utterly hilarious, and even through a miscarriage and now- morning sickness- yay!- she continues to write delightful posts.

3. One Breath at a Time- Janine's blog never fails to remind me to cherish my time with my husband (she lost her husband a little over a year ago), and I appreciate her parenting insights- she's raised/raising 6 kids!

4. Erin's Corner of the World- Erin's another real-life friend, who always has an encouraging word- the sweetest girl you'll ever meet- her blog is sometimes funny, sometimes serious & always real!

5. FriedOkra- Megan's a great writer- I love seeing pictures of her preschooler & her 'new' baby boy & hearing all kinds of stories about her past and present. She's even sharing great tips about blogging for all of us amateurs this week!

6. Stretch Marks- Melissa's stories about her family, including a preschooler & another 'new' baby always have me laughing out loud.

7. Fiddledeedee- DeeDee's posts are absolutely hilarious, too. Her three kids do and say such funny things, and she writes about all of it! :)

8. Adventures in Babywearing- Okay, truly, I never knew what a phenomenon babywearing is until I read Steph's blog! I wear Z on my back in a frame backpack when I work at camp just because it's convenient, but Steph has opened up my eyes to so much more! I'm actually shopping for slings on ebay as we speak! :) Oh, yeah, you'll love the pictures of her 4 kids on her blog & all her great, thoughtful posts, too!

9. Owlhaven- Mary has 10 kids- 6 of them adopted from various countries around the world- her blog is such a blessing as she shares her joys & struggles in parenting & tips for the rest of us comparatively new moms!

10. Bring the Rain- I love Angie's transparent honesty and her thought-provoking posts. They always point me to worship and praise God and to cherish every moment with my little Z. When she shares her struggles with grief, she also helps me to know what a friend may be going through, which is so helpful in ministering to friends.




Along with this fabulous award are a few rules (if you want to play along):

- Put the logo on your blog or post.

- Nominate at least 10 blogs which you think are fabulous.

- Be sure to link to your nominees within your post. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

- Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

- List five addictions



Hmmm...so...5 addictions:



1. Kissing my sweet son's cheeks

2. Facebook/Google Reader (basically, to sum it up, the internet)

3. chocolate (typical, I know)

4. coffee with lots of cream and sugar (it can even be decaf, I just love the taste)

5. Ice cream! 'Nuff said. :)

Scheduling Babies???

Are you expecting, or have a new baby and wonder whether you should follow a certain parenting book or philosophy? I think it's so important to choose instead of following a preconceived idea or formula from a book, to pay attention to your baby & get to know his needs. Check out this great article:

http://www.blogher.com/scheduling-babies-trust-your-instincts

As for my own story, I had several friends recommend this system of parenting my new baby, and while I was pregnant, I read the book, and thought it sounded like a great idea.

Then Z was born.

And everything changed. I've already posted about my feelings on babies crying it out, I think it is positive and necessary. But I also think on-demand feeding (as opposed to rigidly scheduled feedings) is necessary, especially before a baby is 6 months old. I now wonder if many of the problems we had with nursing those first few weeks wouldn't have been avoided if I had been feeding on demand instead of attempting to schedule Z's every feeding three hours apart.

If I had those first months to do over again (and I never will with Z, but hopefully someday I will have another stab at them), I would do things rather differently. I think it's important for new parents to remember that they need to find what works for their family and their baby, and not what works for another family, or what the new baby's grandparents or other relatives or friends think they should do.

I guess if I had one piece of advice in a nutshell to give to an expectant mom, it would be this: Don't fall hook, line, and sinker for any one parenting system. Spend time paying attention to your baby's cues and getting to know him, then use pieces and bits of the advice that everyone has given you, and pray for God's wisdom to know which pieces to use. And, yes, six months of feeding on demand and not being able to schedule, well, anything... sounds like forever now, but it will pass SO quickly. You'll see. :)

What I've Done (and not done)

Hmmm...I've done a lot of things- didn't think I'd have to use my bold-er that much!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29 Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33 Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (truly, we all do)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41 Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45 Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60 Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64 Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66 Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67 Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (do smashed toes count?- that's all I've ever broken).
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79 Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

The Sad & The Yucky

Please pray for my friend, M. I talked to her at MOPS this morning, and she told me that her husband left her yesterday. She has a 4-year-old daughter, who is, of course, asking all sorts of questions. I guess their marriage has been rocky for a while & her hubby has problems with alcohol & has abused her emotionally for some time. Another friend and I were able to encourage & pray with her this morning, and allow her a safe place to break down and cry while her daughter was in class, but I'm just so burdened for her & the pain she's feeling. So please, please, keep her in your prayers.

On that note...I think we need something funny to focus on... Sunday night, I was watching the kids in the nursery at church, and I had a 3-year-old girl and a 4-year-old girl who had come in there to play. Towards the end of the evening, the 3-yo said she needed to use the potty, but she could do it herself. So she went in the bathroom, which has a door straight into the nursery, and I kept one foot in each room, listening for her, and watching the other kids...a few minutes later, she hadn't made any progress, so I went to check on her, and her 4-yo sister came to check on her. The 4-yo stuck her head under the stall door, and came out with this report: "She's chewing gum in there."

"Gum?" I asked. "Where did she get gum?"

"Oh, from the little trash can next to the toilet."

Yeah, really. Yuck, yuck, and double yuck. At this point the girl exited the restroom, threw away the gum & washed her hands, big smile in place. I responded feebly, "Um, you know, it's really not usually a good idea to eat things you find in the trash, honey."

So just dwell on that as you pray for my friend today, okay? :)

Mish-Mash

This post is sort of a compilation of what's been going on with me lately (& stuff):

Let's see...yesterday was Hubby's and my 6th anniversary!

We celebrated by not doing anything too extraordinary- church, quick trip to town, afternoon at home, evening church, KidZone practice, watching TV together... but it was nice. We discussed throughout the day what we were doing 6 years ago relative to the wedding & all...on our way home from town we celebrated 6 years of being married (our wedding was at 1, so we figured by 1:40 we were married. :) ) We also discussed whether our wedding day was truly 'the happiest day of our lives' or whether people just say that...there have been a lot of other happy, ordinary, less stressful days since then, you know. :)

I have some New Year's resolutions for 2009- just three of them:

1. To speak kindly and patiently to my family and to others.
2. To spend time consistently in prayer and in God's Word.
3. To send birthday & anniversary cards to our families. (I used to do this quite regularly, but it fell by the wayside after little Z came along.)

And, finally, I found these pictures this morning on the little camera I keep my diaper bag. I guess I hadn't checked it for a while. :)

This one's from last September (28th) on our trip to visit family in IA- Z is playing peek a boo with the lid to his food container.

This one is from October (24th)- Z had a cold & fell asleep in his backpack as we were working in the camp kitchen one evening...poor sweet little guy!!!

Hope everyone's enjoying their New Year & getting back into the swing of things- we've got a busy week ahead of us with a work group at camp, several evening meetings for Hubby, KidZone tonight, MOPS tomorrow morning...I'll try to check in at some point! Oh, and my wonderful MIL is coming this weekend...and staying through next week so that Hubby & I can have a nice couple-day getaway to Niagara Falls- sans baby- for the first time since Z was born! I'm excited...but nervous to leave Z!!! I know it will be fun, though.

2008: The Year in Smiles

It seems that this is the time of year that we get introspective and take a longer look at what we've accomplished in the past 365 days (or 366, as the case was this year). Hopefully, as you look back, your year is filled with joyful moments, lessons learned, and resolutions accomplished instead of with regrets or frustrations.

When 2008 began, I was a brand-new mom. I know, I'm still a 'new' mom, comparatively speaking, but one year ago, I had only been a mom for about three weeks. I was exhausted, confused, frustrated, overwhelmed... Earlier today I was remembering the feeling of panic that used to fill me when Hubby would walk out the door for work, leaving me at home with this inscrutable newborn. And a year ago I was crying a lot. My body responds to exhaustion by crying. And I cried. And cried. And cried. I had no concept yet of the loving sacrifice that is parenting. Although I had been married for almost five years, and in ministry for all that time and more, it took the 24/7 context of parenting my own child to wake me up and begin to truly teach me about selflessness and contentment. Not that I've arrived, mind you. But I see how far I have to go, and that's half the battle, right?

I'm now the mother of a toddler. A one-year-old. He eats 'real food' now, and walks on his own, and doesn't need me to sustain his life as he did a year ago, but he still needs me. Now he needs me to kiss boo-boos, read him books, give hugs to Elmo, feed him yogurt, and sing silly songs while I change his diaper. And I love every minute of it. His smiles and giggles are worth every second spent walking the hallway with a screaming baby on my shoulder, singing Amazing Grace for the 96th time because that's the only song my addled brain could recall the words to.

I am just completely thankful to God for all the blessings of 2008:

• a healthy, growing marriage relationship with my loving husband
• a sweet, healthy toddler
• personal growth in my pursuit of godliness and my trust in Him
• as always, His amazing financial provision throughout the year
• many opportunities for ministry at camp and our community

and so many many more- God's blessings are so bountiful- I was thanking Him for all He has given me the other day, and this verse came to mind: "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over." (Luke 6:38) And that's how I feel about God's blessings in my life. They are so abundant. So, thank You, Lord. For 2008. And for not letting me stay the same as I was in 2007.

To close this post, I'll sum up 2008 in smiles. So here's a smile from Z for each month of 2008. Happy New Year!!!

January: (5 weeks old)

February: (2 months)

March: (3 months)

April: (4 months)

May: (5 months)

June: (6 months)

July: (7 months)

August: (8 months)

September: (9 months)

October: (10 months)

November: (11 months)

December: (One Year!!!)