Saturday, April 25, 2009

Violence in the Workplace

This week, I've been dealing with violence in the workplace.

"Carrie, is your boss beating up on you at work?", you might ask with concern.

To which I would reply, "No - it's my other job -the full-time one, the one that involves taking care of a toddler."

Z has recently started these violent tendencies, such as kicking and hitting/scratching, and also biting. Although the biting is probably because of teething, and I am the one who lovingly (but stupidly) attempts to quell his teething pain on a regular basis by sticking a finger in his mouth to apply let's just leave the biting out of the equation for now.

When I lay him down on the floor to change his diaper, he kicks his legs, hard. I had bruises on my leg earlier this week from him kicking me. I tell him to stop, and I do $pank him on the upper back of his leg sometimes, but he just doesn't get it. He doesn't get that it hurts me when he kicks. And he just keeps on kicking. And bruising.

And that's not the worst part. He's started hitting & scratching my face when I'm holding him. Not out of anger, or so that I'll let him down, but just I don't know. But it really hurts, and he drew blood earlier today. It seems kind of counter-productive to $pank him for hitting, a little bit ironic, don't you think? He does it at the most frustrating times, too, like when I'm singing & praying with him at bedtime, which used to be such a sweet time, but now I almost dread it, because he's scratched me pretty much every night this week.

I've tried to teach him, "gentle, gentle", but it's like a game to him, he'll rub my face once or twice gently and then get this gleam in his eye & scratch me again.

SOOOO...does anyone have any advice about dealing with my suddenly violent toddler? Have you had to deal with this??? Any encouragement or help would be greatly appreciated!!! :)


Deni said...

I have to admit, when I first read your title, I was a little concerned considering where your day job is located!

I think our sons might need an intervention!

Native American Momma said...

This is going to sounds so stupid but it stopped mine in her tracks. I started crying, fake but I got some tears out. That is their language so that is what I tried and it worked.

Janine said...

My advice would be to stop whatever activity you're doing at the moment (aside from diaper changing). Stop it cold. Put him down, telling him why, and walk away. No emotions. Cold turkey.
And do not look at him or pay any attention to him for a while ... no matter how much he begs for it. Act like he's not there.
He will soon learn that he has to stop hitting and hurting or he won't get the attention he craves.
That's my two cents.

Shanilie said...

Oh no fun. I have had many scratches on my face in the past. You're right it does hurt!

I agree with Janine, sometimes stopping and not paying attention helps. I think sometimes a child needs to be older before they understand that they can cause pain to another and that it is wrong. Jacob always responded well to the words "ta ta" lol

Amy W said...

I would add a very clear "NO biting". Or "No kicking"... or whatever it is he is doing before setting him down. You can put him in a little "time out" in a pack & play if you have to.