Praying for Stellan

Can you even imagine watching a hospital staff of nurses and doctors STOP your tiny son's heart, and then start it again, over and over, all day and night long, desperately trying to keep it beating in the correct rhythm? Just the thought brings tears to my eyes. But I know someone for whom this has been her constant reality for the last couple of weeks. If you haven't heard about Stellan, please click over to MckMama's site and pray for their family. They are bringing SO much glory to God, even through their pain. It is such a blessing to watch their reactions, and how they continue to praise God, and I pray that if I were ever in a similar situation, God would give me the strength to respond similarly. So, please. Please pray for Stellan.




If you want to post on your own blog about Stellan, so more people can hear and pray, you can get the code for this button from MckMama's website. But whatever else you do today, please pray for Stellan!!!

11:30 am: Edited to Add: Here is a news story about Stellan & his family.

Scarce

I may be scarce around here these next few weeks.

We've got a lot going on this month, and I'm at the point of feeling overwhelmed in pretty much every area of my life. Every so often (maybe monthly? hmmm....) I go through these phases where I just feel like I've got so many things going on- parenting, wife-ing, my job, cleaning the house, etc...and I'm just not doing my best at any of them.

So, at least this month, I feel like the answer is to step back. I really love blogging, and reading blogs, and spending time on twitter and facebook...and www.you name it... :) I am seriously addicted to the internet. When I'm not on it, I'm thinking about the next time I'll be able to check it...and that is ridiculous. When I'm with my family, I need to focus on them instead of thinking about who I'm going to facebook or what I should say in my next blog post.

I know it will be a hard adjustment for me, and I will miss being on here as much, but at least until April, I'm planning to be rather scarce around here. Maybe after I take time to get my priorities in line, I'll have time to parent and have a clean house and blog, we'll see.

I'll still be reading blogs, and doing some facebooking, and interacting through comments, though, because I still long to be encouraging to others in the blogging community, and be encouraged through others' posts. I'm sure I'll think of stuff I just HAVE to blog about...and maybe I'll save some of it in a Word file to share with you when I get back, or just post some one-liners for you. Hope you'll all stick around for my return! And, of course, you can always follow me on Twitter! (if you haven't experienced it, it's like a little mini-blog or like facebook status updates- I love it, and I'm not giving IT up) :)

I'll leave you with a 'funny' from this weekend:

I was wearing little Z (now FIFTEEN whole months old!) on my back in his Patapum at lunch today, and we had a retreat of about 50 teens from assorted youth groups with about 20 youth leaders total. One of the youth leaders came up to me with a quizzical expression on her face, paused to look at Z and said, "Oh, wow, that's a real baby in there. I thought you had a doll on your back!" Which was hilarious. Because, really, why would a grown woman walk around with a doll strapped to her back? Does anyone have an answer to that? :)

I Heart My Ring Sling!

A couple of months ago, I was the winner of a Bloggy Giveaway over at Steph’s place. I was totally surprised, since I usually don’t win anything! I have heard all kinds of comments about how well ring slings work for wearing newborn babies, and how excellent they are for nursing discreetly, so I knew I wanted to buy one when I had another newborn. So when I found out that I had won a ring sling from Kim's Kreations , I was ecstatic!

I knew that ring slings could be used with toddlers, but I didn't really think I would use it with Z very much...I have some back/shoulder pain at times, and figured Z's 25 pounds would be too much weight on my shoulder. Throughout the process of ordering my sling, Kim sent me several emails with information and resources on sizing, different materials, and suggestions about spreading the fabric to spread baby's weight across my back. She was so helpful and patient through the whole process! My sling was sewn and shipped quickly, and arrived days earlier than I expected it!

And it is beautiful. See?



I love this gorgeous fabric, and the sling is very well-sewn.

Surprisingly (to me, at least), I use my ring sling a TON. It is so easy to pop Z into it for a quick vacuuming jaunt through the house (he hates the vacuum & cries unless I wear him while vacuuming). I love the hip carry, having him literally 'attached at the hip' for when I'm sweeping the floors- he loves to 'help' by pushing his mini-broom into the middle of my pile of dirt and flinging it around...which is not always super-helpful. :)

I went to pick Hubby up at the airport last week, and was able to quickly pop Z into the sling, run into the airport, wait for Daddy, pop Z out to hug Daddy, pop him back in for the walk to the car... and it was definitely MUCH faster than adjusting and situating him in a structured carrier like my Patapum.

Our weather this month hasn't really lent itself to very many outdoor walks- lots of snow, cold days, and when it has been warm, we've had ICE- not good for babywearing walks! Yikes! But earlier this month, we were able to take one walk up to camp with Z in the sling, facing me in the tummy-to-tummy carry. It was SO much fun to be able interact with him on our walk!! One day, I also wore him in the sling for a 20-minute walk up and down the house, since we were both getting a little antsy. :) The fabric does spread out across my back, distributing the weight MUCH more evenly than I could've imagined, and I wasn't uncomfortable even after a 25-minute walk!

In short, I love my ring sling! It has become my 'go-to' carrier at home! Check out Kim's website- again, www.kimzkreations.com/ -her slings are custom-made to the length that YOU want, with the fabric & rings that YOU want, and she will even help you figure out what sling might work best for you!!! She does great work! :)

Random Monday Morning

To update those of you who have been praying for my friend Ashley, who I mentioned here...an active miscarriage started last night. *sigh* Her dr. told her that it was something called a 'missed' miscarriage...I guess her baby had died, and her body had missed it somehow...until now. Please continue to pray for healing for her body, and peace and strength for her and her husband. As I mentioned, this is her second miscarriage in about two years.

I don't want to sound like I'm doubting God's faithfulness and love, because I know He is good and loving no matter what circumstances He allows in our lives...but I've spent the morning in tears and in prayer, asking Him to help me understand why He would choose to allow my friend to go through this pain again. Thank you so much for praying...guess I could use some prayer, too. :)

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On this random Monday morning, I am home alone! Hubby took little Z to town, and he is doing our grocery shopping for the week!!! Alone with baby!!! Something I don't even like to do! :) Isn't he a great guy? You should've seen the specific list I made for him...instead of 'canned peaches' it said: '1 can of sliced peaches- no sugar added- store brand'. :) But he does a good job, and I know they will have some great guy bonding time. :)

As for myself, I have been on the internet, spent some (much-needed) time in devotions and prayer (without a chattering toddler trying to grab my Bible), took a nice hot bath, and drank a cup of coffee with a new creamer- White Chocolate Coconut! It is delicious!!! I suppose you would have to like coconut to like it, but I do- it has a great coconut flavor! :)

Now I'm going to make something called 'Fudge Ecstasy Cookies' for our MOPS volunteers for tomorrow! Because after two hours with all of OUR kids...they deserve it - and more!!! :)

How Would I Like Me Now?

I wonder, if my 18-year-old self could see me now, what would I think of me???

It's been almost ten years since I was 18 years old. Oh, how it pains me to type that sentence. I can still sometimes manage to feel young and almost even 'relevant' in our youth camp ministry until I see a sentence like that in black and white.

When I think back on the person I was then, I realize how shallow, self-centered and approval-seeking I was in my relationships with others and with God. I still have a long way to go in each of these areas, but praise God, he's grown me up by leaps and bounds through the last ten years!

At 18, I was a freshman in college (always one of the youngest in my class, I turned 18 a couple weeks into my freshman year). I began dating my (future) husband one week after my 18th birthday, and never looked back. My dreams included a husband, staying home taking care of my many babies (5 to 8 or so, I would've said), and being a pastor's wife. Mostly because Hubby was planning to be a pastor. And I was planning to be his wife. I've already blogged about how God changed our plans in that area...(the pastor area, not the wife area...) :)

I think my 18-year-old self would be surprised that I only have one baby. I imagined I would have at least two children after 6 years of marriage, but if you'll remember, we did have to wait a while for little Z. And I would definitely be surprised that I live at a camp, in a provided trailer, and I'm (usually) content with it.

I wouldn't be surprised at who my Hubby is...but I might be surprised at how far God has brought him spiritually and at the depth of our marriage relationship...and definitely at the depth of my relationship with God. I'd be surprised at the fierce love that my heart holds for one short little human being, and the fact that never sleeping in doesn't (usually) bother me. :)

I'm sure I expected to live closer to our families, and to have a closer relationship with my parents and sister...something I'm always working towards. But I might also be surprised at the easy & fun relationship that I have with Joel's family...then again, maybe I wouldn't- we've always had a great time together. But Western NY State??? Snow country?? I sure wouldn't have pictured us living all the way up here. Another example of the fact that God works in mysterious ways. :)

I think my 18-year-old self would be relieved that in the real world, appearances and 'coolness' don't matter nearly as much as they seemed to in high school, and there are a lot more dorks and nerds out here in life than there are prom queens and celebrities. On the other hand, I would probably be appalled at the way I've 'let myself go' over the last ten years, and how little I care about my appearance...if I look at myself in a mirror more than once or twice after I've finished my makeup and hair for the day, it's unusual. I often arrive at evening church and realize I have no idea what state my hair is in, because I haven't actually looked at myself in the mirror since 8:15 am.

If the 'now' me could say one thing to my 18-year-old self, that is, if I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would probably have to be: "Don't stress out so much over the little things- your relationship with (future) Hubby, your wedding plans, your college - God will work it all out in the end." ...a message that my 'now' self could probably stand to hear from my 10-years-from-now self as well, when it comes to parenting...

But I doubt that my 18-year-old self would listen. Because some things just have to be learned 'the hard way' after all.

You Found Me...Somehow

It's pretty fun to look at the different Google searches that have brought people to your site. While most of my search entries read, "ceaseless praise" or "baby cry to sleep", some of them are a little funnier.

"praise your wife" - Yes, you should indeed.

"fear of needles blood pass out" - Yes I do. And I might.

"i found a dead chipmunk in bed" - wow. Sure glad I didn't. In my house was bad enough.

"don't poke the monkey" - okay. I won't.

"why would my 1 month old cry constantly?" - well, sometimes, that's just what babies do.

"anything wrong with baby sleeping in a car seat?" - the research is mixed. Z slept in his car seat A LOT, though, and he's doing just fine.

"he's got me crying once again" - I'm sorry to hear that.

"my baby wont take a bottle only a sippy cup what kinda cup can i give him" - wow, that is a really run-on sentence. And I like the Nuby sippy cups with the straw in them the best.

"few words in the praise of little girlfriend" - um, I don't know your little girlfriend...and those words would probably mean more coming from you.

"brown it in the oil" - ooh, you're making want to go watch Food Network...be right back...

"cute baby with fuzzy blond hair" - why, yes, I do have one of those, thank you for asking.

"hire a hubby.ca" - why would you hire a hubby? And I'm not from Canada.

"where did the work ceaseless come from?" - I don't know, but if you find out, ask if we can send our ceaseless work back, and then let me know.

"baby cries and goes to sleep constantly" - I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think I'd be concerned about my baby going to sleep constantly.

"somehow you found me" - yes, I suppose I did.

"spanked hubby blogspot" - not sure what you're referring to...

"use ceaseless in a sentence" - Okay. Here goes. 'Everyone reading this post probably wonders if it is going to be ceaseless.'

God definitely has a sense of humor.

And I'll tell you, He's been using it this week, laughing at me. As I mentioned, our camp's gas went out on Friday. We still have no gas, but we have a kerosene heater rigged up & an electric heater in Z's room, just to make sure he's warm enough. :) Repeat after me: First. Time. Mom. Right? :)

Our stove & oven still aren't working, which is a delightful excuse not to cook-I love it. :) We still have a fridge & microwave- and what more do you need, really? And when the gas went out, I assumed our hot water (like EVERY other water heater on the entire camp) would go out, too. So when we still had hot showers on Saturday morning...and Sunday morning...I figured that we just had a really well-insulated hot water tank & we were still using up the hot water that was left in the tank.

On Saturday, I didn't want to waste our (surely) dwindling hot water supply by running it all the way to the kitchen on the other end of the house to do dishes, so I dutifully spent 15 minutes heating water in the microwave and coffeepot and pouring it into the sink. Then, proud of this resourcefulness and ingenuity, I updated my facebook status to reflect my accomplishment and recieved several complimentary comments. Oh, internets, pride goes before a fall, does it not???

When I still had a hot shower on Monday morning, I decided to finally take five minutes to empty my hubby's clothes out of his closet, and pop in there to check the water heater. In large letters on the side of the tank, our water heater reads, "Electric Water Heater". Yup. And the rest of our staff hasn't had a hot shower since Thursday. I really wish I would've taken those five minutes a few days earlier...

And so of course I had to re-update my facebook friends with my silly miscalculation. Here is what my status read yesterday morning: Carrie says, "Hello, folks, we have an ELECTRIC water heater. Off to clean bathrooms so our whole staff can come over to take showers." I got several comments about how hilarious this was in light of my dishwater microwaving experience, of course. :)

And I can just picture God laughing at me as I was heating that water in the microwave the other day- He DOES have a sense of humor, doesn't he??? :)

Walk With Me

Since even before Z was born, I have been looking forward to the day when my little boy and I would walk sweetly, hand-in-hand. He's been walking for about two months now...and I'm still waiting for that day. :)

It seems like when I gently take his hand to lead him where I want him to go, his natural toddler instinct is to pull away. Or maybe he's just too thrilled with the fun (and forbidden) things around him to follow my lead. I would love to gently take his hand and walk down the hallway to the living room peacefully.

But that is not to be. When I take his hand, he tries to rip it from my grasp. When I hold his hand firm, he jerks and squirms and throws himself down on the floor, flailing and whining. If he manages to get free, he runs in the opposite direction of where I was attempting to lead him.

And when he struggles against my leadership, he often gets hurt. Sometimes he falls down and scrapes his knee on the ground. Or sometimes he is so intent on getting away that he runs into something and bangs his head in the process.

It hurts me to see my little son hurt. And to see him struggle against me. All I want is to walk sweetly, hand in hand, toward the toy room. I want good things for him, and joy and fun. But instead of submitting to my will, and my desires for him, he chooses his own way. And so he experiences pain. And he does not get to experience the closeness of walking peacefully with his Mommy down the hallway.

How often are we each like a toddler, wrenching wildly away from our Father's gentle, loving grasp?

And what are the consequences of our willfulness?

Check out more metaphors over at Jenni's place!

Red Envelope Day

Here is the official info from http://www.redenvelopeday.com/ .

When:March 31st, 2009

Get a red envelope. You can buy them at Kinkos, or at party supply stores.

On the front, address it to:

President Barack Obama

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW

Washington , D.C. 20500

On the back, write the following message:

This envelope represents one child who died because of an abortion. It is empty because the life that was taken is now unable to be a part of our world.

We will mail the envelopes out March 31st, 2009. Put it in the mail, and send it.

Then mention this event to every one of your friends who you think would send one too. I wish we could send 50 million red envelopes, one for every child who died [in the U.S.] before having a chance to live. It may seem that those who believe abortion is wrong are in a minority. It may seem like we have no voice and it's shameful to even bring it up. Let us show our President and the world that the voices of those of us who do not believe abortion is acceptable are not silent and must be heard. Together we can change the heart of The President and save the lives of millions of children.

It's cold in here. Brrrrrr...

The camp's gas went out...we have gas heat, stove, and water heater in our home & up at camp. Thankfully our power is still on, so we have water & fridge & microwave & lights & fans (for sleeping)...And computer & phone & TV- thankfully! :) The leak problem is on the gas company's end, however...so they said it could be up to 2-3 weeks before they get it fixed! The camp director is working on picking up some kerosene heaters to keep our pipes from freezing in cabins & in our staff houses. It's currently about 50 degrees in our house, but we have a little electric heater in Z's room, so he's napping soundly. If you think of us, please pray that we'll get this situation resolved quickly! :(

We had to cancel this weekend's retreat group- but they were able to reschedule in a couple of weeks, so that's definitely a blessing. We have big winter retreats scheduled for the next two weekends, though, and nobody wants to spend a weekend in the snow without a hot shower. :( The good news is, though, that Hubby will be home tonight & tomorrow evening for some extra family time! :)

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Z has discovered his love for Nilla Wafers this week. He adores them. This afternoon, I was trying to finish a couple things in the camp office, so I was handing him Nilla Wafers to keep him occupied for a few more minutes... the next thing I know, he's crying in a concerned voice, "coo-ca, coo-ca, coo-ca", and tossing everything from the office trash can behind him onto the floor.

Once I noticed what was going on, I asked, "Zachary, honey, what are you doing?" and he pointed into the garbage can and said sadly, "Coo-ca". Apparently he was digging for a cookie that he had dropped into the trash can. Thankfully, he could not reach it, and I gave him another one. :) I love when I can understand what he wants & help him. :)

Communication is wonderful, isn't it?