People, I am one day overdue. One short day past my due date. And you would not believe how much sorry-feeling-for-myself such a simple, silly fact like that can bring on in my muddled emotions.
This is not what I had planned. My first contraction (Tuesday night) would have been, in my own plans, the beginning of a 24-hour-or-less labor. My daughter would have been in my arms many hours and days ago. My parents would be taking care of my son and my house while I take care of my daughter.
Instead, here we all sit. Watching Zachary play. Wondering if our baby girl will ever decide to make her entrance. Fielding calls from family and friends wondering if they 'missed the big news'. I know it's dumb, but it feels just a teensy bit hopeless today, now that my 'due date' has passed, I guess I feel like there are no more deadlines on her (not that there truly ever were). I feel like she'll never come now. Plus, I haven't had any big contractions last night or today, so that fact doesn't help.
Friends have been so encouraging on Facebook, and Twitter, and I know others who have gone much farther past their due dates, and are much more uncomfortable than I. And I know others who are grieving losses this week, as I should be rejoicing in the fact that I am still plumply pregnant with a healthy baby girl.
I know my feelings are wrong, but still I feel them. Time to pour them out to God, and let Him heal me, and remind me that all is under His control, and in His time.
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5 comments:
Aw, Carrie, you poor thing. Please know that someone in Iowa is thinking of and praying for you!
Aww, hang in there, Carrie! (I know, I know so much easier for me to say right now.) But God's timing truly is perfect. He is giving you a few extra special moments as a family of three (on the outside) before your princess joins your arms. She'll be worth the wait - I promise!
You're feelings aren't wrong! I remember being overdue with Riley and the waiting was hideous. I'm not good at waiting ;o) Particularly when you're at that stage when you are too big to do anything, including sleep. Hopefully your daughter decides to grace you with her presence very soon.
What you feel is so normal! I went five days over with my older son and just one day over with my younger. Even though I was much more relaxed about it the second time around and even though both times I was content to let them choose their own birthday, I was still pretty cranky when my due date came and went with no baby!
Maybe you'll get the best Christmas gift ever! I know, not exactly a fun way to spend Christmas, either. She will come, and I hope it is sooner rather than later - God is in control!
I've heard eggplant parm heavy on the oregano is supposed to induce labor...don't know, but it'd be a yummy experiment!
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