Monday, October 7, 2013

I'm Believing God

God is moving our family.  And He is moving in our family, and in each of our lives.  My husband has been accepted into the Manager-in-Training program with Lifeway Christian Stores, and he will begin his training on October 16th.  This is a very exciting development, and the answer to so many prayers for God to show us what He would have us do, as we have sought His will over the last months.  

It is also very difficult.  We have lived here in western NY state for almost nine years now.  All of our children were born here, and when you work and live as closely with the people as we do at our camp, you become more than neighbors and coworkers.  We are truly a camp family.  A church family.  And I have my MOPS family, and so many amazingly sweet, strong Christian friends we have made over the years.  

On the way home from sharing our news with our closest friends, our camp staff family, I felt like I would never stop crying again. (It's been two weeks now, and I nearly haven't.) And I thought, "Wow.  This is starting to get really hard."  

It felt like we were beginning to cross a river.  The water surrounding us was starting to get colder and deeper, and it would be so much easier to say, "Nope, this is hard. I'm turning around", and just back up and get out.  

But God is so clearly calling us to the other side of the river.  I know there will be deep parts, fast currents, and maybe even rushing rapids, but God is here, in the river, and there will be another side.  Another 'normal', whatever that is. :)  

God's sense of timing and how He works every little thing together for our good is impeccable.  

The afternoon that we were preparing to tell our kids about this new chapter of our lives, we ended up playing as a family on the camp playground.  Zachary has wanted for some time to try to go down the fireman's pole on the playground, but I'm too short to really help him very well.  However, this afternoon, Daddy was there, and was standing ready to help him go down the pole.  

I watched my five-year-old son, who is scared of heights (a quality he definitely gets from me!), perched on the ledge, whimpering in fear. His daddy, who was as tall as the ledge, stood right next to him, perfectly capable, strong, ready and willing to catch him in a split second.  From my perspective, feet planted safely on solid ground, his fear was laughable, ridiculous.  

Isn't that just how we look to God, whimpering in our fear when in truth He surrounds, ready, willing and completely able to catch us if we will just take that first leap?

Zachary ended up choosing to trust, and enjoyed several jumps down the pole with Daddy's help, and even one nearly on his own.  
That night, we began our conversation by talking about the pole. "Do you remember", Daddy said, "when you had to trust Daddy and jump to the pole?  Sometimes, Mommy and Daddy have to trust God for things, too."  I nearly lost it when Zachary's lip quivered, and he said, "But I don't want to move away from camp!"  

"Neither do we, sweetheart.  That's why we call it 'bittersweet'.  Some parts are hard, but there will be good parts, too.  We have to jump.  We have to trust that God has something great for us.  Something fun like going down the pole ended up to be for you."  
I love analogies, but of course with a five-year-old, it's hard to know exactly what they are grasping.  At the end of our conversation, though, Zachary wrapped it up nicely.  "So, Dad, you mean the ledge is like living at camp.  And jumping down the pole is like moving to your new job, and it's kind of scary, but God wants us to jump, and it might even be fun, just like the pole was."  

Exactly.  

I'm so thankful for how God works so many things together for His purposes.  It is no accident that I am currently going through the Beth Moore study Believing God, about not just believing IN God, but actually believing Him.  Not just taking a STAND of faith, but actually walking BY faith.  

Concerning Abraham, Romans 4:20-22 says, "No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, FULLY CONVINCED that God was able to do what He had promised. That is why his faith was counted to him as righteousness."  

Lord, let my constant prayer be as the father in Mark 9:24 - "Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!" 

I don't have to be perfect.  God will help me to trust Him, and He is there surrounding us, ready to catch us as soon as we jump.  

7 comments:

Elaine said...

I remember when we left our camp nearly 4 years ago. So so hard. But we knew it was what God wanted for us -- and, since then, we have been so blessed to see Him work and provide a family!! (We simply could not have adopted through foster care with me working full time at camp.)
He has big things for your family. Thanks for sharing and letting us wait and pray with you, Carrie!

Laura said...

oh, Carrie, I'm all teary reading this ... I don't think you get our prayer updates and I haven't posted anything on Facebook because Vova's relatives don't know, but we are also facing a BIG move ... as soon as I'm back on my feet (hopefully by the end of the month), we are packing up our stuff and moving to a city 100 miles south ... It was soooo exciting to talk about it with Vova in the beginning and then as time got closer we started to think about no longer living in a BIG house, leaving behind so many friends, ... but how awesome in ALL it to know that GOD is leading us and I'm so glad to read how He is leading your family ... and it's safe to follow HIM, there is no safer place!!! God's blessings on you guys as you pack up on piece of your life to unpack and start a new one!!!

Dawn said...

Loved this post, Carrie! xo

Mom said...

Carrie I too was teary when I read this. You once said you could not write as well at your husband. you did a fine job! While your move causes some sadness in me I am so grateful that God put your family in my path for a time. I also think of how Erin, Jay and the children have to move when the military tell them too. Understanding even more what you are going through I pray that God show Himself to you preparing, during and settling in your new home. Hugs and Blessings on your lives.

Our Family for His Glory said...

Oh, how I understand the mixture of emotions!!! Praying for you and rejoicing with you!
~Jessica

Emily said...

Just now getting to read this! It is beautiful!!! That father's cry of "I believe! Help my unbelief!" has become so precious to me, and so has been my same cry the last couple years!! You are all going to do great, and yes oh yes it is a scary path... but SO worth it!! You are such an inspiration to me!!! Love you!!! And our guys are gonna LOVE working at the same company!!! Let the games begin!:);)

Emily said...

Just now getting to read this! It is beautiful!!! That father's cry of "I believe! Help my unbelief!" has become so precious to me, and so has been my same cry the last couple years!! You are all going to do great, and yes oh yes it is a scary path... but SO worth it!! You are such an inspiration to me!!! Love you!!! And our guys are gonna LOVE working at the same company!!! Let the games begin!:);)