Friday, January 28, 2011

Why?

Why?

I have asked this question so many times in the past 24 hours.

Why, Lord?

A text from a friend, 22 weeks pregnant, last night: Please pray, I’m on my way to the hospital.

A couple of hours later: I’m going to lose my daughter.

Sleep doesn’t come. I toss and turn and cry and all I can think of is her pain, her labor, her sorrow.

Why, Lord?

I search the Scriptures, encouraged by passages in Psalms and Isaiah. He will wipe away our tears, He knows our sorrow, He keeps our tears in His bottle, He is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble; He is near to those with broken hearts. I pass on a few of His life-giving words and try to sleep again.

I wake in the night, checking my phone for messages. In the wee hours there is one: “She is gone.” Three short words. One tiny life. Countless lives changed in that instant.

And the tears come fresh. And I beg God, “Why? Why her? Why now? Lord, how can this be right?” He reminds me then that ‘there is a way that seems right unto a man, but the end thereof is the way of death.’ (Proverbs 16:25)

I search His Word again, looking for answers, for comfort, for strength. He brings me promise after promise: He is good; He is here; He loves me; He loves my friend (even so much more than I do); He is holding her precious daughter in His arms today; we will see her again on the day we meet Him; He does have a plan - a perfect plan. A plan to grow us, not to hurt us. He knows exactly what He's doing. Everything works together for good to those that love Him.

Though the ‘why’ feelings threaten to take over, the Word reminds me that the truth is that God is all of these things. Even on the days when I don’t feel like He is.

And, later in the morning, He reminds me of another person who has also experienced a great loss. And this man’s ministry is multiplied tenfold because of His constant, faithful, even joyful testimony to God‘s faithfulness through his grief and sorrow. There is a reason. I believe with my whole heart that God has a beautiful story to tell through my friend’s life.

But today is sorrow and grieving and confusion and exhaustion and pain.

Please, please pray that God will wrap His arms around my friend and her family in an undeniable way. Please pray that God will work through this - that others would even be brought to Him through this difficult time in her life.

I can’t wait to see the answers to today’s painful questions in the amazing story that God is writing.

5 comments:

Our Family for His Glory said...

I'm so sorry!!! Praying for your dear friend & their family (& for you too)!
Jessica

Julie said...

So sorry to hear of your friends loss. I just now prayed for her and her husband.

Christie said...

Oh Carrie, my heart is breaking for your friend and for you right now. I have been praying since I read your facebook status yesterday. How encouraging to read of you turning to Scripture when the Why? question overwhelms your heart. That is exactly what David did so often in the Psalms. I will pray that God's faithfulness and mercies will be new to you and your friend today. Love you!

Deni said...

Oh Carrie,

I am so sorry for your friend. I will be praying for her and her family. And for you! Its ok to mourn! :)

Love you
D

Elle Belles Bows said...

I am very sorry fro your friend and the loss of her baby girl. You friend and her family will be in my thoughts and prayers. She is blessed to have a friend of faith that will help her during this this dark time. Kerri