Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Dearest Natalie,

I wanted to tell you about our day today. Not because it was a great day, but because maybe someday, when you're a mommy with children of your own (and yes, just writing that phrase made me cry a little), you'll need to know that we all have days like this from time to time. And hopefully you'll look back and remember that although some days are rough, we did survive, and found joy in every possible moment.

We went shopping in town this morning - me, you and Zachary. Zachary is two and a half, and you are six months old, by the way. :) Also, as a matter of background, you are a baby who LOVES your sleep. LOVES it. You sleep twelve hours at night, take two two-hour naps each day, and often another one-hour nap in the early evening. You only like to stay awake for about an hour and a half, MAXIMUM two hours at a time. Which is a wonderfully convenient schedule for us when we're at home, but when that two-hour-mark hits, and we're NOT at home, with your comfy crib nearby? Look out, world!

On to today's events. We went shopping. First, we went to K-Mart to get just a few things. I wore you in the wrap, and big brother Z rode in the cart, and we had a great time, picked out what we needed, quickly shopped the clearance, and checked out. As a reward for his good behavior, Z sat on a riding lawn mower by the entrance for a minute, and then we headed out to the car. You seemed a little bit fussy, so we took a break and I fed you in the car while Zachary ate some of his favorite cheesy crackers. You ate and burped and then you were happy, and tried to eat an envelope from the seat pocket and Z & I laughed with you for being so silly. :)

Then we drove to Wal-Mart, got some Subway and a small red ICEE for Z, because he asked so nicely (and also because it generally keeps him happy for 30 minutes or so while we're shopping). Again, I wore you in the stretchy wrap, and Z rode in the cart and happily slurped his red ICEE and even offered to share with Mommy! We had lots of items on our list, and we were having fun strolling through the store, chatting, singing silly songs, picking up what we needed, stopping to be admired by the other shoppers (you and Z, not so much me), choosing a million baby food jars...everything was going wonderfully. We finished our shopping and headed to the checkout line.

By this point, you were getting SO tired. I was bouncing you in the wrap, and 'shhh shhh shhh'ing you, and you were doing okay. But when I had to lean over repeatedly to put our purchases up onto the conveyer belt, you just lost it. You were crying loudly, inches from my face, while your brother was alternately taking items out of the cart, dropping them on the floor and then grabbing items off the checkout lane shelves, and absolutely everyone within earshot was staring at us. I felt so overwhelmed that I was literally reduced to tears in the checkout lane. Thankfully, once I stood up and resumed the bouncing, you managed to relax and quiet down a bit. And I was able to move the cart to the end of the lane, and remove your brother from the tempting lip glosses and candy bars.

And it took another sweet forever to check out, but we finally did. And we got in the car, and we came home. You slept in the car all the way home, and then went right down in your crib, and you're still sleeping. And your brother ate his lunch, and now he's sleeping in his bed. And the groceries are put away, and my lunch has been eaten, and I am sitting on the couch, breathing, and writing to you, my sweet daughter. So, we made it. Phew. I keep hoping these days will get fewer and farther between as you and Z get older, but so far, each time we go to Wal-mart, we seem to just surpass the craziness that our last trip entailed.

So, maybe someday, if you look at me and think that I'm a great mom who has it all together, and that surely I never had any days like you're having, you can read this and remember that EVERYBODY has imperfect, even horrible days!

And in spite of our morning, you are an absolutely precious blessing from God (and your brother is too), and I am utterly thankful that God has put you in my life and given me the privilege of raising you for His glory. I love you, sweet Natalie.

Love,

Your Sometimes-Frazzled Mommy :)

P.S. A special "I love you" to my precious Zachary, too! :)

3 comments:

Our Family said...

This is just so precious! We have all had those hard days, haven't we!? The times when we feel like everyone is staring at us & wondering, "What is wrong with her?"... yet, for God's glory You wrote a beautiful post. How sweet this will be for your little one as she grows!
Jessica

Rebecca said...

That is so sweet. You just have the right way of saying things.

Julie said...

I had to smile while reading this because a couple of weeks ago I had a similar shopping experiance, only my 17 month old cried ALL THE WAY through Walmart! The whole time. I just tried to block it out, I did arrive home with a whopper of a headache, but we survived. I cant even remember how my other two behaved, just remember the crying.