Zachary and I were discussing something, and I made the comment that he had used a big word.
"Oh, my WORD!", he replied...and then went on...
"Oh, my WORD, Chi-YULD, my PA-tience!"
and it was like looking at myself in a mirror. A little mirror, chock full of my attitudes and words.
Not pretty. (Rather like looking at oneself in a mirror 6 weeks after giving birth, but we won't go there.)
I was instantly ashamed that my child has obviously heard this phrase enough times to learn and repeat it.
And then I decided to lighten the mood by turning on some music, so I flipped my iPod to Nichole Nordeman. But God wasn't going to let me off that easy.
I immediately heard this song, about the legacy we leave. Here are the specific words that made me cry and turn to God in prayer:
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
or did I talk constantly about my patience, and how thin it was?
Lord, help me to turn to You in times of frustration, and lean on You for patience and strength as I love my babies. Help me to be Christ to them, and to represent You in the way You would want to be represented. Remind me that through my attitude, each dirty dish and every dirty diaper can be a ministry to my family, and an opportunity to help my children know You more intimately.